Uncle Roy kicked the bucket, or at least pretended to. In one of the most OG moves from the almost 80 year old loveable owl-man, Roy faked his own death to expertly avoid the thunderous rumors he was on his way out of Palace. Shouting at the haters with a wink, "Can't fire me if I'm dead". The move was akin to faking sick on the day of the big 2nd grade math exam and we applaud him for it. In other news, Thomas Tuchel was dragged out to the open ocean by Bayern and forced to announce his departure following the end of the season which is the cruelest of opposition to Jurgen Klopp's last dance tour. The race for Xabi Alonso is well and truly cooking. Speaking of cooking, Arsenal are red-hot and Ollie Watkins is too. What a weekend we experienced up and down the table, and capped off a brilliant weekend of action with, what one commentator working for NBC described as, "One of the least exciting matches I've been a part of." This made it feel like Roy got off easy as he was lying with a full service hospital service and we were forced to watch the horror of the Monday night game.